When a love relationship is new, everything feels exciting. Each date reveals something about the other person as emotions flow between the unknown and our growing feelings of adoration. For weeks, maybe even months, we can’t get enough of our new crush. As time passes, though, these heady feelings can fade. We instinctively know how
Every year I see many couples that come for counseling only when they’ve reached the breaking point. Many have been struggling for months, even years – and they’re making what they feel is a last-ditch effort to save their marriage. It fills me with sadness to see this, because even though I know there is
As we ring in a new decade, most of us will make resolutions based on what we want to improve about ourselves. For example, we may decide this is the year we’ll finally get in shape, stop smoking or save more money for retirement. But what if we focused instead on the quality of our
Researchers at Emory University have surveyed couples to learn more about what helps a new marriage begin on the right foot – and what makes it last. Their study, titled “A Diamond is Forever and Other Fairy Tales,” examines facets of marriage such as the financial investment couples make when they marry and how long
When you first got together, what did the word “commitment” mean to you? It’s a multifaceted concept, and if you got married decades ago, you may not have thought much about it. Many of us took our vows without reflecting much on the pledge we were making. That’s because marriage was generally seen as a
When the people you love most in the world don’t get along, it can be tremendously painful. If you’re feeling caught between the family you grew up in and the family you’ve created with your spouse or partner – with or without children of your own – you know exactly what I’m talking about. You
Just about any marriage can go through times when one partner is less interested in sex than the other. Often, this is a short-term concern that relates to stress in other areas of life. All it signifies is that one of you is more distracted or tired than usual, thanks to a sudden change in
Balancing a demanding job with the needs of your partner is an everyday challenge for millions of us. And while many of us feel that our loved ones work far more than they should, we acknowledge that careers are important – both for financial and personal reasons. If one of you works far more than
When your spouse or partner is in the midst of a personal crisis, do you feel confident that you’ll know how to offer the right kind of support? Many of the couples I see in marriage therapy struggle to work together effectively during dark times. The reasons for their difficulties usually go far beyond the
All of us make assumptions in our relationships. These “educated guesses” about what our spouses are thinking, feeling or doing may come from influences such as the media or what we’ve learned from family and friends. However, assuming we know where our partners stand — instead of taking time to ask them directly – is