The Language of Love: 10 Caring Things Couples Should Say More Often

When a love relationship is new, everything feels exciting. Each date reveals something about the other person as emotions flow between the unknown and our growing feelings of adoration.

For weeks, maybe even months, we can’t get enough of our new crush. As time passes, though, these heady feelings can fade. We instinctively know how to show our partner that we care, but sometimes, we fail to express our love – especially when marriage confirms our union and makes love seem like a foregone conclusion.

This month, in honor of Valentines Day, I’d like to share 10 simple phrases that all couples should say to one another often. These expressions of love, caring and partnership are the easiest way to affirm how you feel about your spouse or partner. And as you already know, making love real is so crucial to keeping our relationships healthy and vital over time.


Having a BFF is one of life’s sweetest experiences. They share our laughter and inside jokes, and they’re the first one we turn to for advice and support. When we tell our partner they’re our best friend, we’re saying we trust them with our hearts – which means so much.


Even the most confident person needs a vote of confidence from time to time. Whether our spouse is worried about his or her career or dealing with family conflict, affirming that we’re in their corner gives them the support they need to cope successfully.


We might think, “This is so obvious!” But why not share this when you’re with your loved one? It’s so lovely to hear that of all the people on earth, you’d rather be with him or her than anyone. Saying these words will make your partner feel seen and desired.


We all go through periods of self-doubt. When we feel this way, a kind word from our partner can feel like a turbo-boost! If your mate is going through a rough patch, remind them how awesome they are and that you know they’ll find their way forward.

  1. “I TRUST YOU”

In a healthy relationship, we’re free to be our true selves without fear. Trust is essential for all relationships, and when we express trust, what we’re really saying is we believe our mate is capable of making good choices. Tell your loved one you trust them and watch your connection deepen.


Compliments are great, and hearing “I love you” is especially powerful. But giving examples of what you admire about your spouse or partner does even more for your relationship. It can be something tiny, like the cute expression s/he gets when s/he is excited about something – or something big, like the integrity s/he shows when there are conflicts at work. Paying attention to the qualities that make people wonderful is a great way to feel closer to them.

  1. “THANK YOU”

When is the last time you thanked your spouse for the simple (or not-so-simple) things s/he does to make your life easier? We get so comfortable in our partnerships that we often forget to express gratitude for what our loved ones do for us – when in fact, if all those forms of caring and support disappeared, we’d be lost. So say it. Be specific. Tell your mate what you’re thankful for and show you don’t take them for granted.


Appreciation is the art of noticing all the qualities you enjoy about someone and making sure they feel your gratitude and respect. An easy way to get in touch with your appreciation for your mate is to try seeing him/her through fresh eyes. What have you always loved about your partner? How can you express that love in words?


Life is filled with trials and challenges, but when we feel reassurance from someone we love, it’s easier for us to keep on going. When things get tough, hearing our spouse say, “It’s going to be all right” is the best thing in the world. It reaffirms that we’re not alone and we can rely on our partner to be there, through thick and thin.


We don’t need to wait until our mate is all dressed up to say this. There are tender moments in every couple’s life when they see each other in a radiant light. When the sight of your loved one takes your breath away, don’t lose the moment. Tell him/her what you’re feeling. These intimate words will go a long way to keep romance alive.


Every marriage needs care and attention to stay strong. But I can tell you, as a long-time marriage counselor working with couples in the Las Vegas area, that every couple has trouble communicating at some point in their relationship.

If you and your mate are struggling to say what you mean and maintain the closeness you both crave, couples counseling can help. I will empower you with simple strategies that will not only help you express the love you feel, but also, enable you to take on the deeper differences that may be keeping you apart.

I am here for both of you. Give me a call today to schedule a convenient time to meet.

One Love